I tried countless times over 20-something years to maintain a body weight that is healthy and comfortable for me. I was filled with frustration and hopelessness. Why are so many of us struggling, multiple times a year, to lose weight and then keep it off! What the fork?
I’ve been contemplating this and have come up with some possible reasons that I’ve learned from science and medical experts as well as my own experience. There are cultural, environmental, biological, neurological and psychological explanations, but ultimately something is not working. We need to have a mindset shift, reframe what beauty and health truly are from a more individualized perspective, and find solutions that we can sustain long term.
Here are some possible reasons this could be happening:
Reason No. 1
We need a long-term lens. Instead of aiming for a singular goal (a number on the scale, a dress we want to wear, etc.) we need to consider how we want to live our lives so we can move into maintaining weight, not just losing and gaining. We need to prepare for the marathon, not the sprint, and focus on habit changes that LEAD to weight loss versus the other way around.
Reason No. 2
We need a bigger WHY than our appearance. Vanity can get us started, but it’s just not enough to keep us going. We need to identify our bigger WHYs, such as increased mobility as we age, avoiding chronic conditions that are linked to excess fat on our bodies (such as cardiovascular disease, some cancers and Type 2 Diabetes), avoiding the cost of medications, stabilizing our mental and emotional health, etc.
Reason No. 3
We have watched ourselves fail so many times we get the “I Forking Give Up and Nothing Ever Works” mental mindset. This can totally derail us. The reality is when you use the tools, the tools work. When you put them down, they stop working! Your brain is lying to you!
Reason No. 4
We get too hungry restricting that we end up over-compensating. This is why crash diets just don’t work. Sure you can juice cleanse for 10 days, but when you stop, your brain is going to demand the foods it needs quickly and easily to combat starvation, basically that’s sugars and refined carbohydrates. And those are the exact foods that got you there in the first place! We can release excess weight without getting SO hungry that we want to eat our arms off. In fact, often eating MORE of the right foods leads to weight loss! It may be slower but you will be able to maintain it much more successfully.
Reason No. 5
We’re “dieting” but using artificial sweeteners. If we’re using artificial sweeteners, drinking diet sodas or even chewing sugar-free gum, our brains get the reward that comes with a sweet taste without the calories and thinks we're starving. Studies have demonstrated that people drinking diet sodas end up eating more food in a single sitting than those not drinking them. Quit the diet sodas! Drink water, seltzer, or unsweetened herbal tea instead. And if you want to try more natural sweeteners, try Stevia or small amounts of maple syrup or honey, which are derived from nature instead of created with chemicals in a lab. But if you’re really wanting to quit sugar because you think you may be highly addicted like me, be careful with the natural sweeteners too.
Reason No. 6
We’re still eating lots of ultra-processed foods (instead of Real Forking Food!). These foods have tons of sugar, artificial ingredients created to mimic real food, and seed oils. They are intentionally designed to be addictive to keep us coming back for more so we buy more of their food-like products. How do you know if something is ultra-processed? If it’s in a box, bag or can with a gazillion ingredients you can barely pronounce and have no clue where you’d find it in nature, avoid it! We need to get back into our kitchens and cook more Real Forking Food! This can be super challenging starting out but there are ways to make it easier.
Reason No. 7
Our cravings get in the way. We may crave certain foods (proteins for example) for clear biological or physiological reasons, but if you’re craving sugar or refined carbohydrates, it’s not because you are lacking something. Sorry to burst that bubble! Sugars and carbohydrates are NOT essential for our bodies to function. We already convert all the food we eat to the energy we need for our cells to function. So if you’re craving sugar or floury foods, it’s because the reward center of your brain is asking for it. We need to reduce or eliminate cravings for long-term success. It’s just too hard if we don’t.
Reason No. 8
We need to consider that food addiction may be in play. Addiction can be a loaded word because, for some, it implies that the fault lies with us. But this is so incredibly far from the truth. All of us have a reward center in our brains. This is for SURVIVAL! The things we need to survive as individuals or as a tribe are wired in to feel good so we are motivated to seek those things out. While some of us have zero addictive tendencies, most of us fall somewhere on the spectrum. What that means is we are more or less susceptible to the pull of addictive substances or behaviors.
In times of scarcity, it was the people with high addictive tendencies who would work harder for these things and therefore more likely to thrive. But in our modern world of overabundance of addictive substances and behaviors, this no longer is necessary and we end up in trouble.
If addiction is in play, we may need to put that ahead of weight loss or nutrition and focus on healing our brains first. When it comes to addiction, often abstinence is required for long term success. You may need to quit sugar and flour just like an alcoholic needs to quit drinking or a smoker needs to quit nicotine.
When I first heard that giving up sugar and flour may be the best path forward for me, my jaw dropped to the floor. But once I accepted this truth, I became free and now my cravings are gone and I have so much more peace with food. It was a grieving process to say goodbye to foods and behaviors around eating that were totally habitual, but I was willing because the payoff was so much bigger than the grief.
For more on this topic, check out some books on my Resources page.
Reason No. 9
We need to do more inner work. Some of this may be psychological. And that is super individual and unique to our experiences. Maybe living in a bigger body feels safer than living in a small one. Perhaps stress or anxiety are causing cortisol to block your weight loss goals. If this feels like it could be you, finding a therapist who can help you address trauma or PTSD may be helpful. Or maybe working on stress management tools, evaluating life circumstances like home environment, career, or relationships first will help you calm your nervous system so your body feels more free to release weight.
Reason No. 10
We think we have to lose weight for our life to start. This mental mindset is also derailing. For many of us, focusing on our body weight and food may be a distraction from things that are scary, painful or difficult. It can be an excuse to avoid whatever we are fearing. If that’s the case, we may never reach our desired goal because we would lose our favorite distraction and have to face the things we’ve buried with food. Or maybe we are fearing yet another failure so we end up sabotaging our weight loss goals. I invite you to move forward with the weight loss journey despite this feeling. As the saying goes: “How do you walk through fear? Afraid!” So instead of waiting to lose the weight, go for that thing now! You already deserve it and you already have what it takes. And while you’re doing that, let’s solve this weight thing once and for all so you can move on!!
With guidance, support and accountability, you can do this just like I did! It’s time for some Real Forking Weight Loss!
Get started today! Set up a free discovery call!
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